Just Maybe by Savannah Brooks

Author:Savannah Brooks [Brooks, Savannah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2015-11-18T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter 4

I did some of my best thinking while out on my morning runs and today, it was never ending. As the cold blasted my face and my breath puffed in front of me, I went over everything I wanted to say to Elliot and when, but a part of me still wasn’t sure this wasn’t all going to blow up in my face. Even then, assuming we got over this major hurdle and we agreed to give it a go, that didn’t guarantee I wouldn’t do something stupid to fuck it up later.

After a quick, thirty minute run and a fast shower, I decided to call Elliot. My heart pounded faster as I waited to hear his voice, hoping it wouldn’t go to voicemail. He answered on the fourth ring.

“Hi, Jason.”

The frustration and hurt underlying his tone was almost enough to make me change my mind. But I knew now that I needed to try.

“Hi, um, do you have a few minutes? I really need to talk to you.”

“I’m actually kind of in the middle of something.”

“Oh.” My chest tightened. I couldn’t remember a time when Elliot didn’t have time for me. “Well, this is kind of important and you normally call or text when you get to the house and I hadn’t heard from you.”

“Sorry. I’m here. I’ve just been catching up with Reed from next door.”

“Reed?” I swallowed hard.

“I’ve told you about him before. He’s a few years younger than me but we used to hang out and play together when we were little.”

“Yeah. I remember.” My voice came out thick and hoarse.

“Mom invited him and his dad to join us for Thanksgiving dinner. His mom passed away a few months ago and not too long after, he came out to his family, so it’s been an emotional few months for them. I’d had no idea until I got here. Anyway, seeing him reminded me of what you said yesterday. That I need to find someone and maybe try dating.”

I cringed. “Yeah. About that…”

“So, what’s so important that you need to talk to me now?” His brusque tone shocked me. Elliot had never spoken to me like that before and it hurt in a way I never could have imagined.

“Well, I, um…” I couldn’t say it. Elliot had obviously taken steps to put me back in his friend box. Maybe not even that. He even seemed interested in Reed. It was obvious he wanted nothing to do with me right now.

“Jason?”

“I’m sorry.” I blurted out the only thing I knew I could say.

“Okay.”

“I screwed up and I’m sorry.”

Silence.

The tension in my muscles burned as the walls of my chest constricted. I held my breath, unable to stop the sinking feeling that I was losing him. “Ell?”

I heard a sharp intake of air. “Yeah?”

“You know I love you, right?”

Another second of silence. “Yeah, sure.”

“Elliot—”

“Look, Jason, I’ve gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”

The phone clicked and went dead, and with it, any hope of moving forward with him. I’d had my chance last night and I’d blown it.

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